I have a bone to pick. How the hell do you keep a clean house? I mean, seriously? Since I have moved into my new apartment, I have had the rude awakening that I am a HORRIBLE house keeper! I know when you hear people say that, you think, "Oh, no, I am a horrible house keeper too...blah blah blah" when really, you are not. In fact, you are a clean freak and by you saying that you have a dirty house when you don't really gets under my skin! Not only am I a bad housekeeper, I have learned that I cannot use my kid as an excuse for the messy house anymore! I am a little torn at the circumstance. Because while I am inspired by my clean-freak friends with two or more kids and their tidy houses, I also throw up a little in my mouth when I think about what it takes to keep it that way! Seriously- I feel like I spent the entire day yesterday just doing dishes! (No dishwasher) Just keeping the counters in the kitchen cleaned off is a full time full day job. My hands need some lotion! And that's just the kitchen. Sigh. I don't mean to complain- in fact, I'm not. I am just trying to figure out how some people are able to not be cluttery or messy. Did you grow up in a dirty house- and you couldn't stand it? So now you over compensate to ensure your house will never be like that of your childhood house? Did your mother keep a clean tidy house and do a good job at teaching you do to the same? Are you OCD about it?I don't get it.
I grew up in a decent house- lived in. Not sterile, not dirty. Cluttery because there were 8 people living in a three bed, 1 bath house- but that's to be expected, right? Every Saturday was cleaning day. And maybe that's it- we only cleaned once a week, so during the week, we did nothing- so things piled up, got messy, out of order- used. I do the same thing now. I let things go for a week or so and then in one or two days, I clean EVERYTHING. Then I'm exhausted and I get cranky when Chris comes home and turns the water on in the kitchen. I JUST CLEANED THE SINK! Its not working for me. And probably not for Chris either. I want a clean house all the time. I like how I feel when everything is in order. But I also feel like its all I will ever do with my time during the day if I stick to a cleaning regiment. Sometimes I just want to to to bed with clean laundry on the bed!
I've thought about Chris's upbringing and I have decided that he is not necessarily a messy/dirty guy- mostly just the same as me. He likes things tidy, but doesn't like to do the work. I think from his point of view, growing up, his mom or older siblings did all the house work. So while he may have been in charge of his own room or messes, the overall cleanliness and organization was taken care of by him mom. I can see that this is the case still to this day when we make visits to Shelley. There are always piles of certain people's belongings being created by his mom during our stay there. (I'm grateful for this because its nice to know where my random things that I've left laying around the house are!)
So there it is. For me, cleaning was a horrid punishment during a day that should be spent out playing with friends- so why would I want to do it now? And willingly?! For Chris, he never really had to clean, so he just knows that he likes a clean environment. (And in his defense, Chris does clean a lot, usually when I am at work- which is what I should be doing when HE is at work! He is a great cleaner, much better than me.)
*Forgive me if this is incorrect information, Martineaus who are reading this- if its different, please correct me!*
OK, so my point? I don't know that I have one. Only that I wish I had money to hire someone to clean my apt once a week. Bathroom, Kitchen, vacuum, mop, dust, windows, de-clutter, and a chocolate on my pillow. (I don't mind doing laundry.) What does it take to start new habits in my home so that my children will be tidy organized people. I want for my house to be a place where my children feel safe, where they want to bring their friends. Where there is an endless supply of beverage in the fridge and that smells good...which means I start cooking more. That's a whole 'nother post!
Yesterday, a friend from the court came over and helped me lay out my space so that it flowed better. I rearranged my furniture for the 237 time and this time I think its there to stay. I deep cleaned my kitchen and Chris even mopped the floor. Things that have a place got put away and the rest...I guess I'm supposed to throw it away, right? I'll work on that. Having a clean newly arranged space feels good and I do feel motivated to keep it that way, but for how long will this last? I want it to last forever. Any pointers or pats on the back are welcomed- but please don't tell me that your house is dirty too!!! I'll have to come pour tuna juice behind your oven.
I feel this way too, but I know the truth is I am a horrible house keeper. Cory and I joke that we are casual slobs. At least we both are and so we don't drive each other crazy. I know what you mean about there is always sooooo much to do and you can't get it done. I've tried to let go and have made it my goal to do one BIG thing everyday. Plus it helps that dishes are Cory's job.
ReplyDeleteYour blog rocks! wow, 8 kids in a 3 bedroom house, and ONE bathroom. Did I read that right? If that was the case, I would just go to the bathroom outside. I agree how does one keep a house clean? You happen to live by the cleanest house person ever too, that probably sucks!
ReplyDeleteAlas...working mom and the clean house. I will not lament that my house is a wreck too, but when you have tools and buckets of plaster right along side the brooms and sponges...you do the math. My house was cleaner when I had two babies and worked full time. This may be because we were gone the majority of the time, or we have become bigger pigs. It doesn't help at all when you have 3 out of 4 people who are able to make a mess and then leave for indeterminent amounts of time either. I think the major thing is to try and not go to bed with various things laying around the house, dishes in the sink, or crap cluttering the bathroom. Because for some reason when the sun comes up...you grow blinders and are unable to recognize the piles of things laying around the house. Then it grows!
ReplyDeleteJust know my dear girl that there is an entire population of us out there that sympathize, and there's only a very small population that care to judge. In my opinion, spending time playing with your little one and instilling a healthy sense of love is just as important as a clean house. Not to mention, when you have little people in the house...sometimes it all you can do to keep them fed, clean, and happy. So cut yourself a break, try and do a little each day, and choose your friends wisely. Love ya Girl!
I won't tell you that my house is dirty too, just like you asked
ReplyDeleteTuna juice behind the stove?? I am still laughing - out loud!!! Okay, so I think the whole no dishwasher thing is really pushing you over the edge - it's totally time consuming, something that has to be done several times a day (if you are cooking a lot and don' have tons of pots and pans like us) and a single dirty pot can ruin the loveliness of the clean sink! Could you get a mini dishwasher? Are they super expensive? And do you have room? I think that would really help take the edge off - that or a martini.
ReplyDeleteWe were a clean-every-day family, at least once we were old enough to do chores. Well, really, *most* days (read: when mom could whip us into doing our chores), and by clean I mean pick up (and stuff under couches/in closets) and vacuum. (Later, some kids had dishes chores.)
ReplyDeleteI'm no expert, but I can draw uncalled-for parallels to programming and other kinds of work that I am qualified to comment on. I think the key is triage. Figure out what you can do that will improve the situation the most. Maybe it means picking up stuff and throwing it in the corner. Maybe it means washing only the minimum dishes today and rinsing and making neat piles with the rest. (or getting a dishwasher, but I assume you'd do that if you could). Maybe a shining sink isn't important as a rinsed sink. Things like that.
Another idea is, do things in small time chunks. 15 minutes, half an hour, whatever. When the timer beeps, you have permission to take a break or maybe even call it a day for that task, even if it's not done.
Holly my most sincere advice is to not worry about it. Spend time with Chris and Tally! I try and do all the laundry one day and then clean, scrub, and vacuum one day and then just do the dishes after dinner every night. Sometimes it stays clean for an hour others it gets messed up as I finish cleaning. I have adopted the moto that nobody really cares what your house looks like. I don't care when I go to someone's house if it is not sparkling clean so why assume that everybody thinks bad on yours. That is just my most humble opinion. Besides I would rather spend time with my family then being grumpy about the messes they make and cleaning up after them.
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny, Holly. I'll admit my house is usually clean, if for no other reason than to keep you from pouring tuna juice behind my oven.
ReplyDeleteMy motto is to never let it build up, so if I see a spot on the floor, I clean it right then. I wipe down my tub for about 30 seconds after each shower. I do my dishes right now, before they pile up. I wipe my toilet with a wet wipe each day. But that doesn't work for everyone. Oh yeah, and I have OCD.
But man, in a 2 bedroom apartment, it's hard to be clean because there's no room for anything! So I bet you're doing spectacular given your circumstances.
Growing up I would be mortified when someone would stop by my Dad's house unannounced. I vowed I would never allow my children to feel like that. I feel good (most days) about my cleanish house. I believe the key is doing a little every day consistently (20-30 min. and you'll be golden). I also have to agree with Carol that people don't care if your house is sparkling clean all the time.
ReplyDeleteI will admit, I'm a much happier person in a clean house so I TRY to keep up on the full time job of cleaning. I always thought that as soon as I got a house it would be easier to keep it clean. Not true. There's just more to clean. However, you don't have to be as creative on how to store all that junk.
ReplyDeleteA thought on teaching your kids to be clean and organized people... start them out young and get them involved. Whenever Jed is in a grumpy mood, I pull out the brooms (one for me and one for him) and happy Jed is back. I know I was blessed with a kid that truly finds joy in cleaning, but we also make it a game by pretending to be race cars or front end loaders and dump trucks, whatever works. I also let him help with the dishes, vacuuming, and bathrooms. Yes, it takes me double the time to do a job, but the house slowly gets cleaned, he is learning to clean (and use his imagination), and we're spending time together. Everyone wins. We also tell Jed to put his toys to bed each night before he goes to bed. So most nights when the lights turn off in the Hatch home, all of his trucks are upside down in his toy closet because 'they are sleeping.' He came up with this, and it still makes me laugh.
I have a magical thing called Lisa...every time i make a mess it gets cleaned up...you should get a Lisa
ReplyDeleteChad
1. You need a dishwasher.
ReplyDelete2. It wasn't just Chris's older siblings that cleaned up :)
3. I like to think I keep a clean house, and my way is 15 minutes a day, kind of like when you're starting a workout regiment. After a really good deep clean, 15 minutes a day should do the trick.
4. I love that you cuss in a blog that you know my mom is going to read, makes my heart soooo happy!
5. I love you guys!
ehem... gladys in da the house.. ha ha so we have talked about this in the past actually many many times in the past...so this is what i have to say...you know im not ocd about things like that...right..right??? anyway just put things back where they go when you are finish...therefore all you have to do is clean dishes and i dont mean as a everytime you eat or everytime you use a plate..let those pile and at the end of the day wash them that way overnight they you have an empty sink, wake up less stressed. and second leave a day where you actually deep clean and it wont be as bad, thats what i do and it turns out great! clean pro here...member he he love you!
ReplyDeleteHolly, you crack me up! Only because it's so true. I'm not saying that my house is dirty, so don't come anywhere close to it with a can of tuna. I like to think of it as lived in. We don't have a dishwasher, either. I start the morning with a sink of soapy water that I can put my pots in. It also forces me to wash them before the day is out because I hate putting my hand in disgusting water. Becca has some helpful tips, too. I'm trying to teach Zanna that she can only have one toy out at a time by asking her to put the one she's done with back. It's not working so great now, but I like to pretend it will later...At any rate, it sucks but you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Becky on all points! Love the cussing! You truely are my soul sista! And yeah, Chris didn't clean ANYTHING!!! He is Mom's "baby boy" Whatever! And I am not bitter about doing his share of the work. Who cares if your house is spotless, besides you. You are an incredible mother and that is what your kids will remember. You can clean when they are grown! Kiss that baby for me. Love ya
ReplyDeleteI have felt exactly like you many times - in fact most of my marriage - until we moved into our house. You see before that I never liked anywhere we lived, and we never had enough room. If there isn't a place for everything then of course its gonna get cluttered! I always used the excuse that I hated where we lived and so why would I care to keep it clean? Plus, your kids are more important than your house. If your house is always spotless, then I'm sorry, but I don't think your a very good mom. You have already gotten tons of good advice from the comments above but anyway - good luck - and yes a dishwasher would do wonders.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you want anyone to tell you their house is dirty? Because most of these comments make me feel better about myself! You know me and my comparing myself to others problem, well... I had an "aha moment" (according to Oprah) the other day. And the fact is, I don't think God expects me to have my house clean all of the time. He expects me to not be lazy and do my best, but there is no scripture that says "and thy house shall be spotless, and thy drapes dusted, and thy floor mopped on a daily basis, else thou shalt be swallowed up in the bitter depths of hell." (Although that's how I feel sometimes). Anyhoo so I'm just sayin... yes I love to be in a clean environment, but I just had to let a little bit of the stress about mess go, for my own sanity. In fact, I have to let a lot of those not-so-great things about myself go. Again, sanity. Sanity.
ReplyDelete-amy
http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/how-i-get-stuff-done.html
ReplyDeleteI know I already commented but I read this post and thought you'd find something helpful in it...I know I did!
'oh my' student room is a DEE_AS_STAAAR!' I know just what you Mean....
ReplyDeleteTuna Juice ??? Yuk!
I also experienced thee 'clean-freak' types when I lived in the Zen Center. "first cook than clean everything as you gooo." "ZEN MASTER SAY, LEAVE NO TRACE." Than I got really sick of the uptightness of it all and realized I would rather frolic around with finger paint on my hands and experience "EN-LIGHT-EN- MENT" !!!!
H AHA HAHAHAH MDR (french=lol) lol ha haha hahahahaha haha 'Neener neener neener my house is cleaner..." Bogity blog... and your clean house Bog! Love p